Kathy’s Rules for Writing, #17: On Angry Emails

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Angry Face

Step 1

If you are angry, frustrated, or upset, write a nasty email. Let all your angst come out. Cry a little on the keyboard in frustration. Go beat up a pillow but don’t actually break things. Save your draft in which you tell everyone exactly what you think.

Step 1b (provided by my friend Jessica Brown):

Do not, under any circumstances, write in the recipient’s address on the angry email, lest the “send” button be accidentally pushed.

Step 2

Wait at least 30 minutes.

Step 3

Delete your email draft. Write a new email in which you considerately, objectively raise issues and an awareness of a problem. Reread to make sure no anger or frustration leaked through. Ask yourself: does this get out my anger, or will it help accomplish my real objectives? If it will help accomplish your real objectives, click send.

Not that I’ve been writing any angry emails lately…

 

Image Credit: Jared Wong with Creative Commons license

Animoto: Introducing Kathy Cowley

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A few weeks ago my students made Animotos introducing themselves. I made one too, introducing myself as a writer:

It was fun to think about how I might define myself with words, pictures, and music, in the constraints of a 30 second format.

My Companion Llama

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There’s a post on about.com that’s subtitled, “The Many Uses of Companion Llamas.” I don’t even have to read the article to know that I need a companion llama.

Companion Llama

This is Evelyn, my imaginary companion llama.

Reasons Why I Need a Companion Llama:

1. To give me advice. Just look at Evelyn. You can tell that she’ll give me exactly the kind of advice I need to hear, with no mincing of words.

2. To protect me from sketchy people. I would always feel safe with a loyal companion llama by my side.

3. To go with me anywhere I want to go. If I want to go see a romantic comedy, Evelyn will go with me, no questions asked.

4. To protect my reputation. “Yes officer, I have an alibi. I was with my companion llama.”

Surely it’s within my legal rights to keep a companion llama in my 2 bedroom apartment.

 

Photo Credit: Mary and her camera via Compfight cc

Letter Writing (A Poem)

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Letter
 
Pages of black ink on fiber
The black blood of my heartaches, joys.
Add a stamp—wings—
And set them free.
 
 
 
Image Credit: Dan Coulter, Creative Commons license

Warning!! Watch for ZomBees

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Watch for ZombeesSometimes graffiti just makes life better.

A couple of weeks ago, we were driving on I-17 and at a rest stop saw this lovely sign: “WARNING!!! WATCH FOR ZOMBEES.”

I can picture zombie bees rising out of this trash can and attacking. I think it would make a great movie. We’ll call it THEM!

Okay, the name THEM! is actually taken. It’s an awesome 1954 film about giant man-eating ants. Here’s the trailer for the film. Then go watch this epic sci fi film and tell me that we should adapt it to feature zombie ants, or zombees as I prefer to call them.