In front of the Barbie movie poster, with a t-shirt that says "This Barbie is a writer" on the back

I Just Bought My First Barbie + My Thoughts on the Barbie Movie

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This week, I–a thirty-something year old woman–bought my very first Barbie doll.

I never owned a single Barbie when I was a child. Yet I desperately wanted one. I loved going over to friends’ houses and playing with Barbie dolls, dream houses, and pink cars.

I never asked for a Barbie because I assumed that my parents would be opposed to them and everything Barbie stood for (a sexualized, unattainable, and perhaps undesirable version of reality–clearly they wouldn’t that want that).

Years later, one of my younger sisters had Barbies, and I realized that I should have asked. Maybe a Barbie would have been outside of my family’s budget, but maybe it would have become that coveted Christmas present.

Fast-forward to myself as an adult, and my daughters own dozens of Barbie dolls, several Chelsea dolls, and a few pets. And, lest I forget, a single Ken doll. I have bought Barbies for them and Barbies for birthday presents, as if I am trying to make up for lost time. And I’ve spent many hours playing Barbies with my children. One of my youngest’s favorite versions involves designating half of the Barbies as villains and often includes kidnapping, tying Barbies up with ropes, and all manner of treachery and shenanigans.

Then came the Barbie movie. Not those animated movies that my daughters used to watch that I find supremely annoying, but THE 2023 Barbie movie.

I knew, from the moment the first Barbie teaser trailer dropped, that I would love the Barbie film. After all, 2001: A Space Odyssey is one of my favorite films, and if a director can manage to do a perfect homage, remaking every shot but with baby dolls, then I’m on board for the ride. (I’ll spare you the 1000-word analysis of the opening sequence of 2001…but know that this analysis is ever in my heart.)

Earlier this week, I was feeling very prepared for the Barbie movie:

  • Group of friends to go with? Check.
  • Tickets to opening night? Check.
  • Outfit? Check. (Matching Barbie shirts with customized “This Barbie is…” statements on the back.)
In front of the Barbie movie poster, with a t-shirt that says "This Barbie is a writer" on the back

But I wanted a Margot Robbie Barbie doll. My internal voices, the same voices that led me to not ask for a Barbie, told me:

  • I don’t need a Barbie doll
  • I’m an adult–clearly I don’t need a Barbie doll
  • This is a waste of money
  • I’m going overboard for this movie, when I’m not even a Barbie superfan

I decided not to listen to the voices. I bought the Barbie doll.

And then I brought my very own Barbie–my very first Barbie–with me to the movie.

The showing was absolutely packed, mostly with women, but also with men and children. And the film was a delight. It was a perfect mix of comedy, cultural references, and simultaneous lighthearted embracing and mocking of fandom and society, mixed with touching, heartfelt moments.

One of the things I’ve struggled with throughout my adult life is a feeling of internal conflict. Of wanting to be many things, but feeling like my wants and desires don’t match up with all the many versions of what the different cultural, social, religious, and family groups I am a part of think I should be. It’s something I’ve tried to work through with therapists, but almost always I feel this internal tension, this sense that I’m not enough, this almost-wish that I could just happily fit into one of the roles that has been prescribed for me, and somehow just feel happy and content in this role. Could I just not want more? Could I just not want something different? Wouldn’t life be better that way?

This movie–Barbie’s journey, Ken’s journey, Gloria’s journey, Sasha’s journey–made me feel less alone. It made me feel like maybe I’m not the only one struggling with this. In fact, this is something everyone faces–especially women. Like Barbie, I can be who I want to be. Like Barbie, I can take on many roles. Like Barbie, there will be challenges and conflict, and the path won’t always be clear. But I can keep trying.

I have no regrets about buying myself a Barbie doll.

Me with my Margot Robbie Barbie doll

Love and Chicken Tenders: A Review of Tender Wings of Desire

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Have you ever sat there, eating KFC while you fantasize about Colonel Sanders, the founder and creator of such beautiful chicken?

Well if you haven’t, you are missing out. Kentucky Fried Chicken has decided to solve this problem by giving a new book to the world as a free gift for Mother’s Day.

The novella is called Tender Wings of Desire, and it even has a picture of a ripped Colonel Sanders and Kentucky Fried Chicken on the cover.

Tender Wings of Desire

Yes, I am dead serious. This really exists.

I downloaded the book for free on Amazon this morning and thought, “This sounds funny. I’ll just read the first few pages.” But no. I read the whole thing in one sitting.

The dedication certainly helped: “For mothers everywhere, I dedicate this to you—a brief escape from motherhood into the arms of your fantasy Colonel. Whoever he may be.”

Obviously, your fantasy Colonel should be a fried chicken magnate.

The story starts with Madeline, a fine Victorian lady who is engaged, against her will, to a Duke who she thinks “looks like a vanilla biscuit.” (Yes—the cover of the book shows looks like a steamy modern romance, and shows a normal woman in the arms of a modern Colonel. But to me, that’s part of the thrill—why not have modern people on the cover of a historical romance? You can use the best of all romance novels. We can all fantasize about the Colonel however we want.)

Madeline feels no passion for her betrothed duke, so the night before her wedding, she runs away to a romantic coastal town with cliffs—beautiful, frightening cliffs—to become a barmaid. And of course there she meets—and is swept off her feet—by the one and only Colonel Sanders. Add a few barriers in the way of their romance, and you have a thrilling romance.

The novella is a touch steamy (such passion!), though only kisses are shown on the page and everything else is left implied.

And now, for my favorite quote:

“Madeline’s heart was pounding so heavily in her chest that she did not think she would be able to breathe; perhaps she would die like this. It would be terribly romantic, would it not? To be killed by such a longing.”

 

The story does not take itself seriously (you were warned by the cover and the title!), and yet it still manages to tell a very solid romance.

And of course, the Amazon reviewers don’t take the story completely seriously either (and are actually less appropriate than the book itself). Here are two of my favorites:

KFC

Now what are you waiting for? Go download your free book Or better yet, give it to your mom for Mother’s Day.

The Best Pillow for Writing in Bed

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The Best Pillow for Writing in Bed

I’ve recently discovered the best writing tool since the laptop.

As a woman balancing writing, mothering, and a myriad of other obligations, I’m always trying to find new ways to up my productivity. I have limited writing time every day, and I use all sorts of tricks to make the most of it, like turning off the Internet and racing against the clock.

Enter the Healthy Sleep Wedge pillow by Furinno.

Furinno Healthy Sleep Wedge Pillow

Now I can write in bed. Seriously, isn’t that every writer’s dream?

Normally, one of my challenges is I don’t have a good, dedicated writing space. Sometimes I write on the sofa, sometimes at the kitchen table, and other times on a small, shared desk, which honestly isn’t great for creativity.

But with my new pillow, writing in bed is suddenly easy and comfortable. It has great back support, which prevents slouching and helps me work for much longer. The back is even tall enough for my husband (who is 6 feet tall). Sometimes I even have to remind him that it is my pillow and I need it…

In addition to using the pillow for writing in bed, I’ve also used it for reading to my kids, folding laundry, crocheting, and general relaxing. It can be set against a flat surface like a wall, but also used upright in the middle of the floor. It’s made of memory foam so it keeps it shape well. Another perk: It has an easy, washable cover.

The only thing I have yet to use the pillow for is sleeping. It’s supposed to help if you have breathing problems, acid reflux, back/neck pains, or are pregnant. None of which apply to me at the moment. But for when they do, I am prepared.

If you’re going to invest in a writing pillow, you want something that’s high quality and going to last. The Furinno model is well-priced and even comes with a five-year factory warranty. (It’s available on Amazon and through other online retailers.)

Some things increase my productivity for a week because of their novelty, and then lose effectiveness. I’ve tested out the pillow for two months, and it still is awesome. I use it to write in bed almost every single day. And yes, I even used it while writing this blog post.

 

Disclaimer: Furinno provided the Healthy Sleep pillow in exchange for an honest review. All opinions in the post are my own.

Book Review: Finding Your Sense of Place by Janni Simner

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Finding Your Sense of PlaceLearning how to write emotions was one of the hardest skills I had to learn as a writer, and something I’m still trying to improve on. (Sadly, statements like “Mary felt afraid” are actually terrible at showing Mary’s fear.)

Finding Your Sense of Place by Janni Simner focuses specifically on how to use setting and description to create emotion. For Simner, setting should never be in a story simply to establish place. The details chosen for a setting and how they are used in connection with the characters are her favorite way to give a sense of the characters’ emotions.

Simner also dives into how to research the authentic setting details you will need. Ideally you get to visit a place, as she did when writing a book set in Iceland, but if that is impossible she has other techniques.

At the end there is a bonus essay, “Into the Fog: Icelandic Land and Lore,” which is beautiful to read, and makes me want to visit cool places for my stories.

Quick read–about 40 pages, and I highly recommend it for an exploration of setting and emotion. It’s available for $3 for Amazon Kindle; the author has links to other vendors selling the ebook on her website.

Related:

In my blog post Writing Powerful Emotion Beats in Fiction I discuss 10 ways to show character emotion. Setting is one of them, but there are 9 others.

Ignite Phoenix, Austenland Review, and General Austenness

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Today’s post is on all things Jane Austen. First, my Ignite Phoenix presentation, second, a bunch of Jane Austen pages I added to my website, and third, an Austenland review.

Ignite Phoenix

Friday, October 18th, I’m presenting at Ignite Phoenix on Pride and Prejudice: Jane Austen and the Art of Argument. There are presentations on everything from race car driving to NASA launches to hitchhiking–it’ll be a few hours of action-packed, 5-minute presentations. If you weren’t able to get tickets (or don’t live in Phoenix) you can watch the livestream (details here). It starts at 6:30 p.m. in Arizona (same time as California, for the moment).

Have I mentioned that I’m excited? Or that I made amazing bookmarks to hand out at the After Party?

Jane Austen Bookmarks

New Website Section: Jane Austenness

I went a little crazy and decided to create a bunch of new pages for my website, all about Jane Austen love. You know you want to read them:

Talk Like Jane Austen Day Button Jane Austen Fandom, Statues, and Websites ButtonGet the Books Button Argument in Pride and Prejudice Button

Austenland Review

Austenland

Have you ever wished you could just step in one of your favorite books and live there for a while? That’s the premise of Austenland–a thirty something single woman decides to spend her whole savings to go to an Austen theme park, where she gets to dress and act like a Jane Austen character for a several week period. This is a hilarious film on love, literature, and finding happiness wherever you are. I could not stop laughing, and I really want to see this movie again soon.

Anyone who likes Jane Austen loves this movie. To my family: I want a DVD copy as soon as it comes out–it would make a great gift, hint, hint.

Austenland was an independent film, made on a small budget (though you can’t tell from the film itself) and after premiering at Sundance Film Festival it was picked up by Sony. As such, it’s had a limited theatrical release, but it’s still playing in theaters across the US, and if you like Jane Austen, it’s worth a 20 or 30 minute drive to see. Google Austenland for showtimes near you or visit this website.